Hayden's story

Hi all,

I lost my baby son Hayden on the 28th of September 2008 due to severe Pre-Eclampsia. I was 35 + 3 weeks gestation.

I first noticed there was something wrong when I was 5 months pregnant. I had severe oedema (swelling) on my ankles and face but when I questioned my midwife, she just shrugged it off as normal. Because it was my first pregnancy I listened to her. The GP even shrugged it off as "normal".

Then at 32 weeks I went for a routine check-up with the midwife and was sent to hospital because I had high blood pressure and had 3+ in my protein.

I was in hospital for 3 days and had to conduct a 24 hour urine test. I also never saw the same doctor twice and never saw my consultant whilst there. I was told my condition had "stabilised" so came home feeling positive. But 2 days later I woke up with severe upper abdominal pain so went back to hospital. I was asked to conduct another 24 hour urine test and was told to stay in for another 3 days. Again I never see the same doctor twice or the consultant. I was discharged with iron tablets and blood pressure tablets.

Two weeks later, after not feeling Hayden move, I decided to go to the hospital and was then told that the doctors could not find a heartbeat and Hayden had died.

I was induced at 6am in the morning. I had to have a drip in each arm. One was Magnesium Sulphate, which I was told would prevent me from fitting and also to monitor my kidneys and liver. The other was kept in my arm in case they had to pump my body with any other drugs. I was constantly sick throughout my labour and my temperature went above 50 oc. I was given morphine to help cope with the labour pains but that was it. I was not allowed any other drugs not even gas and air!

At 10.35pm I pushed Hayden's lifeless body out. The midwife discovered that a blood clot was in the placenta and that's what took his life.

I'm now waiting to see the consultant to ask why I was neglected whilst I was in there the first 2 times. One midwife has told me that it would've been safe to deliver Hayden at 32 weeks although he would've needed special care for a good few weeks. Not only has it taken my baby, the blood clot would've eventually travelled back to me and got me.

Has anyone else been in the same situation? I feel so angry that the doctors could've saved him but they couldn't have cared less for us both.

Hi haydens mummy.

I'm so sorry to hear of you losing your precious baby. I read your story with a lump in my throat i can not believe the appaling treatment of you during your pregnancy. You derserve the best possible treatment and you didn't recieve that.

I can't see why they couldn't deliver him at 32 weeks yes he would have to have been in special care for a while but at least you would have him now.

I'm so sorry that you were neglected throughout your pregnancy.

Hi Haydens Mummy,

I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your precious baby boy at the hands of this vile condition.

It seems that your instincts were right when at 5 months you felt so swollen & unwell.
It is such a balancing act with this condition.
On one hand you balance early delivery & all that entails against leaving baby where he is in the hope that the pregnancy can be prolonged.
The trouble is that this condition doesnt always give clear pictures as to what is really going on.
Whilst you were doing well, perhaps it seemed that this was the best place for your son. But you should have been watched like a hawk and your fears should never have been dismissed.

I hope the Consultant will be able to give you some answers on how your condition progressed. I found working in the same 'timeline' that you remember and having this supported by your notes easiest. I also found that what I remembered and what I thought I remembered to be quite a blur. Things that seem so vivid after a few days were actually happening much earlier than I remembered.
It might help to make some notes about the questions you want answered beforehand as well as taking someone with you who will help you to remember what was said.
Also actually obtaining a copy of your notes for future referral can be helpful. I know women who when they feel really down and start to question the 'what ifs' again, they have something concrete to look back at.

Whatever the outcome - I really hope you can find the support & information here that you are looking for.
You are amongst people who can truly appreciate your pain & anger as a grieving mum.

Warmest Wishes
Liz