I got it twice, am I mad in wanting another

My husband thinks there really must be something wrong wiht me. I have had pre e and hellp twice, the first time at 36 weeks and my daugheter was born at 37 and my second pregnancy it was diagnosed at 27+5 weeks and my son was born at 28+3 weeks.

Yet I still cannot fight the urge to have another child. I'd put myself through it all over again to have another baby, yet my husband just despairs at me and my mother has began to try and blackmail me against having a nother baby

I understand that this condition can be worse for family and loved ones than the mum herself, I wasn't really fully aware of how sick I was the first time, although second time I had a greater understanding.

My husband also says he feels like we have been made to look like fools we saw a consultant before ttc our son and were told that I may not get pre e again and even if I did, it would likely be later into the pregnancy, and as my daughter was born at 37 weeks this wasn't a huge concern. So we naively conceived our son and the poor lad was very very poorly and orn far to soon causing him a lot of problems and high risk for all sorts of devlopment problems as he grows

anyway, my question is, is it just plain selfish and silly of me to want a third child? Does that instinctive feeling of the need to reproduce ever go away? and what are my odds of getting pre e ad hellp again, and when?

thank you in advance

Hi Berrylicious,

Its definatley not selfish to want another baby. Had you had no problems with your pregnancies, would the question have ever been asked?
Our longing for another child - and hopefully getting the 'package' we have always dreamed of is incredibly powerful. As I have said before (and many ladies here will testify to this!) from little girls we are told that when we get pregnant, we get fat, huff & puff a bit- and there is this beautiful child. We may have to complain about varicose veins, bad back & piles - but it is part of the 'dream' we are sold. PE robs us of the innocence of that dream and for many, who want another child, part of the justice is to get back the dream we were previously 'sold'.

I am sorry you didnt get a supportive consultant and were made to feel foolish. That should never happen. Your feelings and views are valid whatever they are, because thats how you feel - it should never be negated. If you like I can give you some names of experts who are leaders in the field of PE & HELLP, many of whom I know personally, and wouldnt make you feel foolish at all.

Because of your history, you are at higher risk of getting PE & HELLP again, but your chances can be optimised with the right care from before you get pregnant.

If you would like to talk this through you can call me on 0845 241 0989. Im around every weekday from Monday - Friday . If thats not convenient, PM me through this site & I will do my best to help.

Warm wishes
Liz