Pre Eclampsia support

For Women & their families who have suffered with Pre Eclampsia, Eclampsia, HELLP syndrome, Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) and related conditions.
 
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 struggling with being pregnant again

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jules
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PostSubject: struggling with being pregnant again   Sun 18 Oct 2009, 12:48 pm

I am pregnant again and just feeling so so utterly terrified right now. How would I cope with another loss or very premature baby? I think I am even more afraid of having a child with severe disability than another death, maybe I shouldn't say that, I know I would love the child anyway, but have family experience of severe disability (post-stroke) so know how terribly difficult that can also be. Not that coping with Alice dying has been straight forward, in fact its just been awful to put it mildly. And by getting pregnant again I've now swapped grief and depression for extreme anxiety.

Maybe it was too soon after Alice died - that was only early May - but I am now 38 so was advised to just get on with it if I was going to try again. I guess I have shocked myself by conceiving straight away, I thought it might take a few months, at least into 2010, especially at my age. All I can do now is just hope I am one of those who does better in a second pregnancy. But I find myself shaking with fear all the time. I hope I can get this under better control. I don't know if anyone has any advice, I know I need to try and take it one day at a time, and not dwell on my due date of June (probably won't get that far anyway, but hoping I won't have to deliver 14 weeks early like last time).

Thanks for any support

Jules
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Nicki D
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PostSubject: Re: struggling with being pregnant again   Sun 18 Oct 2009, 2:49 pm

Oh Jules, poor you, feeling so awful.

Have you seen your midwife yet, or better still your consultant? I can't imagine that it will make the anxiety go away, but feeling that you're in good hands may help. Do you have a SANDS counsellor that you can speak to - I'm sure that they will understand your feelings right now and may be able to offer you some support.

And I know that all the ladies here will offer you as much support as we possibly can throughout this pregnancy.

Lots of love and hugs to you, and be gentle with yourself

Nicki xxx
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nicki
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PostSubject: Re: struggling with being pregnant again   Tue 20 Oct 2009, 11:55 am

I'm sure all the ladies on this forum relate to how you feel whatever the outcome of their previous pregnancy. Emotions are very strong when you come to think of another pregnancy! I just about got my head around wanting another child/going through another pregnancy, then got my head around swine flu (I was convinced that I would get it if I got pregnant!) and now I've just got upset because I'm not pregnant straight away. anxiety is very common when you've had pe or any condition which medicalises pregnancy.

Find someone to talk to and keep writing on this forum as it does help to write it down. Lots of fingers are crossed that this pregnancy goes smoothly.
lol! Nicki
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sparkling
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PostSubject: Re: struggling with being pregnant again   Tue 20 Oct 2009, 6:28 pm

I'm pg again with no 2 and I don't feel an ounce of excitment despite having had a scan, having a care plan in place and doing all the things that I can now I am pg. I still can't get my head round it and it's really difficult. I wax and wane go between being very very practical and matter of fact about it to being a jibbering wreck.

My daughter was 12 weeks early and I really don't want to go through that again i hope I'm doing the right things to make sure it doesn't.

we're all here to hold each others hands. I'm due 8th May btw.
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Bell
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PostSubject: Re: struggling with being pregnant again   Mon 26 Oct 2009, 1:19 pm

Hi Jules,


Firstly congratulations on your pregnancy and i hope all goes smoothly this time. I don't really have any advice to offer but want to let you know i'm thinking about you. I know when i finally get pregnant again i will feel the same way. Infact in getting myself ready to start trying i am already really worried.

Just make sure you get all the attention and care you need and deserve in this pregnancy.

Take care and take it easy.

Bell.x
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Liz Pidgley
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PostSubject: Re: struggling with being pregnant again   Tue 27 Oct 2009, 9:06 pm

Hi Jules,

Many congratulations on your new pregnancy.

I have no doubt that this pregnacy will be filled with a mixture of angst and intrepidation along with the hope that history will not repeat itself.
Until your baby is delivered when s/he is supposed to arrive & safely in your arms I dont expect you will relax too much. Having said that as you pass Alices gestation and can feel you and your baby making progress hopefully your anxiety will settle.

As the ladies have said - and I know you already have - arm yourself with the knowledge of best practice care & demand that you get it. Perhaps monitor yourself at home too? Now you know what pregnancy shouldnt feel like, this may give you the confidence to keep asking if something doesnt feel right.

We will of course be with you here whenever you need us.

Warmest wishes
Liz

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jules
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PostSubject: Re: struggling with being pregnant again   Sun 01 Nov 2009, 7:38 pm

Thanks for all your messages of support. I have seen the consultant already and have a scan (7-8 weeks) planned this week too. For me, this pregnancy after very severe PE, HELLP, and the death of my daughter is just incredibly hard, and I am starting to fear what it is doing to my mental health. I have been waking up in the night having panic attacks, in the day sometimes too. I just find my chest tightens and I can't breath. I have never had problems like that before, its just not like me - not the me before PE and death anyway. My consultant tells me this is all very reasonable, given what happened last time, and will prescribe me anti-anxiety meds if needed, but would prefer not to during the first trimester. They promise they will not let me get as sick again, whatever happens to the baby. I just don't want to end up in high dependency with sky high uncontrollable blood pressure, developing pulmonary oedema, like last time. I don't really know whether its even possible for me to have a live baby or not.

My blood pressure has already dropped to 100/60, which they tell me is a good sign too, but that just happens to be exactly the figures it dropped to in my last pregnancy (normal for me is about 125/77), and that didn't prevent me from getting very severe, very early onset PE, of course. I am trying to hope for the best but think my optimism has hit a life time low here.

Has anyone else taken meds to help them get through a second pregnancy? if so, did they help much?
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Bell
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PostSubject: Re: struggling with being pregnant again   Sun 01 Nov 2009, 9:49 pm

Jules just sending you big "Hugs". What you are feeling is totally normal. I am so sorry you are having these panic attacks. Does your midwive unit offer relaxation therapies? You should ask, some of what they offer may help you relax.

I have become friends with two ladies i met through SANDS. They are both now pregnant after both having still births about 2 years ago due to different reasons. They both are really jumpy about every little thing but their midwives have been really supportive and willl check them over anytime they are feeling anxious about something.

We're here for you when you need to talk.

Bell.x
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