All clear!

Just had a letter through about all my tests results. Everthing has come back clear and my liver alt has come down from 40 at the beginning of Jan to 30 now (normal range 0-30). No infections, no blood clotting issues, no kidney problems. I am really pleased about this, but in a way sort of wanted them to find a problem that they could 'treat' and something to explain why I got these horrible conditions and to sort of explain Ricky's death more

I don't really know why I'm writing this, suppose I'm just frustrated with everything, plus it is my due date a week today and think everything is just catching up on me. Just want another baby so much and for all this not to have happened (which I know we all want).

Sorry for rambling
Emma
xxx

Yes, I am so sorry. I know all of these emotions. It feels like there must be a reason when pregnancy goes so badly wrong, but often there is just nothing. You are totally normal [that is a good thing of course!]

There is no day (or time even) when I do not think about my daughter and wish she was here. Its so deeply unfair that she died for no reason - nothing wrong with her or me. HUGS xx

Obviously pleased for you that there is nothing wrong...but yes completely understand your feelings. I have been hoping for all sorts of things to be wrong so there was an explanation for what happened. I think it's because we all want to be able to control what happens in our next pregnancy, and somehow if a problem was found it might mean it could be fixed. I too have had the all clear and am now researching diseases that they might not have thought of - mad I know. I really hope you're ok, I know how awful facing the due date is. That feeling of how you should be, and how you should have your baby with you is so awful when so many other people manage it perfectly well. Sending you lots of hugs xx

Thankyou ladies, your kind words mean a lot!!

Can I also ask you another quick question? Before you started trying again (not that we're thinking about that for another few months), did you get a detailed paln of what your care was going to be next time? I know that I am going to get more scans from 20 weeks and increased monitoring, but I don't know whether to ask for a month to month, week to week plan? I know no-one can say for definate what will happen and the plan might have to be changed accordingly, but I think I would feel better if I had a set plan. Just wondering if that was normal procedure?

Thanks again
Emma
xxx

Yes there is a plan...I was not able to make my appt in Dec to go over the plan so expecting a new appt any day soon. Meeting the consultant to go through exactly when he would want to scan me and when I would have a doppler scan as well in next pregnancy. I am also seeing the neonatal consultant in that same meeting to discuss exactly why Beatrice died, and to find out a bit more about premature babies. I need to know at what point they have a good chance if it happens again, which is all hypothetical as who knows!! I am hoping that I would be seen very regularly by consultant, at least every few weeks. I will let you know what happens after I've seen him. I think you should expect a follow up appt very soon?? Not sure how it works where you live...sorry I can't be more help yet, much like you and still waiting xx

Yes, I have a detailed plan with dates for additional US and doppler scans - I emailed my consultant and specifically requested this and can send it on to you if you'd like i?. I'm sure you'll get this also if you ask. I had a brief pregnancy late last year which ended in miscarriage in November and was seen every 2 weeks from 5 weeks just to keep me sane more than anything else. I only see the consultant (in fact, 2 consultants) now.

Best wishes xx

PS not only I have I spent time researching weird diseases that could possibly be associated with PE, I've even persuaded my GP to test me for some of them! All negative of course. xx

I saw my Consultant two weeks after I was released from the hospital and she went through what happened and what would happen in future pregnancies. I was pleased to see her at the time to try to get some answers, but now I feel it was too soon and because I was upset I didn't take everything in. I have rang to set up another appointment to clarify what happened during my last pregnancy and to ask her about a future preganancy.

Jules, if you could send me that plan that would be great. Thankyou so much! I'll PM you with my email.

Also, are any of you ladies on extra vitamins such as Vitamin D and Calcium? I have read a lot about these and how they delay/prevent pre eclampsia, but just wondered if anyone had any experience with them?
Thanks xx

Hi Emma,

I just wanted to let you know the care I received in my second pregnancy if it helps at all.

Consultant appointment at 6 weeks. An early scan was done to check there was a heartbeat and then I was put on daily low-dose aspirin which I took until 36 weeks.

Standard care until 20 weeks, although my midwife was happy to see me whenever I wanted for reassurance.

Growth scans and consultant appointments at 20, 24, 28, 32 and 36 weeks.

I was given 'wee sticks' (am sure there's a medical name for them!) at I think around 24 weeks so I could check my own wee at home for signs of protein.

Weekly monitoring at the hospital's day unit from 27 weeks checking my blood pressure, wee and blood and monitoring baby's heartbeat.

My midwife was happy to see me as often as I wanted. I saw her ever couple of weeks at first, then weekly and as I got nearer the stage I lost Max I saw her twice a week.

At my 28 week consultant appointment I was given a date for my c-section for 38 weeks (I always knew I would be having another section). However, I did start to show mild signs of pre-eclampsia again at just over 36 weeks (this was picked up through the monitoring I was getting at the day unit) so I was admitted to hospital and Tilly was delivered at 37 weeks exactly.

Hope this helps a bit. I know all the emotions your due date will bring. It's so hard and so unfair.
Caroline xxxx

Thankyou Caroline.

Your story gives me so much hope. I just hope and pray that my next pregnancy goes just as well as yours with Tilly did (who is so gorgeous by the way!).

Yours and Jules' plans have helped enormously.

Thankyou again
Emm xx