Pre Eclampsia support

For Women & their families who have suffered with Pre Eclampsia, Eclampsia, HELLP syndrome, Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) and related conditions.
 
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 I'm new and this is my PE story

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sampet
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Join date : 2008-07-07
Age : 45
Location : milton keynes

PostSubject: I'm new and this is my PE story   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 12:09 pm

Hi I'm new my name is Sam. I'd like to say thank you to Caroline for telling me about this site. Here goes.......


I had my first miscarriage in 2006; I then went on to have a second one in early 2007. When I fell pregnant in August 2007 for the third time, I really wasn’t ready for it. If the truth be known I was afraid.
Peter and I decided to pay for an 8 week for piece of mind, and there he was our “little fella” bouncing around on the screen. We just couldn’t believe it, we were having a baby!!!

The 12 week scan came and went, so did the 20 week scan the pregnancy up to that point had been uneventful; but then things started to change.
I started swelling up like a balloon. Everyone told me that was normal even my midwife, all my books and magazines told me that was normal. My feet swelled up so badly I could only fit into one pair of shoes, (and they were the nastiest pair of trainers you’ve ever seen.) I went to see a female doctor at my local surgery she wrote me off as a 'first time mum' and that it was normal and i was just thick. (I won't tell you what i think of that women.) at its worst my neck and head swelled up every time I put my feet up. Yet I still felt fine in myself and everyone kept telling me it was normal; so we plodded on.

On 28th March 2008 I went to my midwife appoint as normal. She took my blood pressure then took it again on the other arm. She told me my blood pressure was high and that she was sending me to the day unit at our local hospital to be monitored and not to panic.
I was there all afternoon strapped up to a fetal heart monitor. We even got another scan picture out of it which was great. While we were there one of the midwifes measured my bump and said i was 28 weeks. I told her i was going to be 31 weeks on Monday, she kept asking me if my dates were wrong; but they were'nt. They asked me to do a urine sample then told me I couldn’t go home until I saw the doctor as there was protein in my urine. When the doctor arrived two hours later he said I could go as there was 1+ protein in my sample and that was allowed.

After a quiet weekend I decided not to go to work on the Monday as my feet were really painful and it hurt to walk.
About 10pm that night I started getting flashing lights in front of my eyes. I knew straight away it was my blood pressure. After some phone calls we ended up at the emergency doctors. My blood pressure was through the roof and I had 4+ protein in my urine sample. The doctor phoned the labor ward to say I was on my way.

When we got there they put us in a room, strapped me up to a fetal heart monitor and gave me another scan. At around 01.20am in the morning the baby’s heart beat was all over the place, they gave me an injection of steroids and a midwife came and watched the heart monitor.
I went to the toilet at about 04.40am, when we put the fetal heart monitor back on my belly we couldn’t find the baby’s heart beat, we called for the midwife. When she found it, the baby’s heart beat just started to plummet. Next thing I know 6 people are in our room prepping me for an emergency c-section.

Our beautiful son Thomas Peter was born at 31 weeks gestation on the 1st April 2008, at 05.02am, weighing 3lb 7oz. He was born not breathing. They worked on him for 45 minutes, but he didn’t make it. We spent 6 hours with our little boy; we washed him, dressed him, gave him loads of cuddles and took millions of photos. We fell instantly in love with him.

I couldn’t say if it was later that afternoon or the next day due to the fact I was drugged up to the eye balls in pain killers, but the consultant came to see us both. She said I had very severe pre-eclampsia. That was the first time we had heard anybody say the word “Pre-eclampsia”. They discharged me 4 days later.

I have since been back to see the consultant and I am to be put in aspirin and monitored more closely the next time I get pregnant.

I don’t blame anyone for my “little fella’s” death. I’m just glad I had the 31 weeks and 6 hours with him, I think about him all the time. I'm still in shock it all seems very sureal. I have my bad days and they are very dark but i'm trying to carry on. I start my counseling in two weeks time and i'm hoping that will help.

Thank you for reading

love
Sam
XXXX

Thomas,
We’ll miss you for forever and a day
All our love
Mummy and Daddy
xxxx
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Liz Pidgley
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PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 12:39 pm

Hi Sam,

Welcome to the site - and thank too to Caroline.

I am so sorry to hear of your 'little fellas' fight ended with such a sad outcome.
I am sure the time you spent together gave you precious memories to keep forever.

It sounds like you are making exactly the right steps in seeing your consultant to plan for when you feel ready to be pregnant again.
Just out of interest did your consultant do any blood tests for stick blood syndromes? The reason I ask, is that aspirin has been shown to be really helpful in a next pregnancy, but for a few women, they need an injection of heparin too. Its often, not until a tragedy like PE strikes, that we ever really look for sticky blood but it needs a special blood test to diagnose it and that should be done before you are pregnant as the aspirin could affect the result.

I do hope you will find some information & support here. Do let us know if we help.

Warm wishes
Liz

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Caroline
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Age : 44
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PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 1:23 pm

Hi Sam,

Am glad you made it over here and am sure you will find lots of support. If you would ever like to chat more please feel free to message me.

Lots of love
Caroline xxx
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sampet
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Age : 45
Location : milton keynes

PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 1:59 pm

Hi Liz

Thanks for the reply, no my consultant has never done any blood tests. But she was brutally honest with me about the care we would receive i.e. she douted she would even see me until after my 20 week scan, there wasn't alot they could do apart from monitor me. Which is ok, I understand that.

The problem I do and will have is my midwife. I found her very patronizing to the point were i couldn't ask her anything i really had no confidence in her, i pointed out my swelling a few times, but she acted like she wasn't listening. The day I lost my boy she came walking into my hospital room, sat next to my bed, held my hand and told me how sorry she was. All i wanted to do was scream in her face "WHY DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO ME!!!!" but it wouldn't have brought Thomas back.

But just the thought of getting pregnant again makes me feel sick to my stomach of what could happen next time.

Thanks
Sam
XXXX[left]
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Penny
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Age : 40
Location : Northamptonshire

PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 7:06 pm

Hi Sam and welcome,
Thank you for sharing your story with us, I am so very sorry your little man couldnt stay.
I am local ish to you, I live in Northants.
I dont blame you for being outraged at your midwife, mine missed the PE too diagnosing an urine infection before a locum midwife picked it up for which i was very lucky for.
I did use the same midwife again BUT believe me, although i dont think she blamed herself, am sure she felt bad, and she was certainly much better and checked me weekly. You have every right to request a different midwife at anytime though Liz am sure knows all the exact guidelines on where you stand.

If I can help in any way please just ask.
Love Penny xx
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Liz Pidgley
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PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 7:18 pm

Hi again!

Sam under the NICE guidelines and the PRECOG guidelines, which are the frameworks all care givers should adhere to as 'best practice' you are (and should be) seen by a consultant as early input is essential.
20 weeks is too long.

It is your right to expect a high level of care as your pregnancy must be regarded as high risk.
Thats not to say you will be frog marched into the antenatal suite & there you will stay, simply that it is safer for you & baby to assume you are going to get PE again rather than just hoping it wont re-occur.

As you have had it before it put you at a higher risk of getting it again.
Generally speaking though, IF its going to re-occur it is usually around 2 weeks later & less severe, that is because you will know exactly whats going on & not take no for an answer.

I appreciate your difficulty in trusting your midwife. Is it possible to see someone else? Perhaps alternate appointments with your MW & GP - and then consultant?
You might like to have a copy of the guidelines to read through & give to your midwife if that helps? I can 'talk' you through them if you would like as they can be a bit 'wordy'.

I hope this helps.
Best Wishes
Liz

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purplestunner
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Age : 35
Location : Bedfordshire, UK

PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 7:56 pm

Hi Sam

I was also ignored in my first pregnacy and throughout my second pregnancy i have screamed and shouted about my care to ensure i got the correct care. I didn't recieve consistency of care (never saw the same person more than twice) however after 12 weeks i saw someone every fortnight alternating between a growth scan and consultant appt one week, to community midwife fortnight later, and back to consultant fornight after that etc. At about 34 weeks i had a scare and went into the day unit at my hosp and was then monitored 2/3 times a week, which picked up my PE early enabling Kira to be born safe and sound (albeit by c section again)

I suppose what i am trying to say is that i understand that you feel afraid but as long as you are prepared to stick to your guns and demand the care you deserve they will give it to you.

I would also suggest reading the precog guidelines liz put up on here as it gives you the ammunition you need to ensure you get the care you and baby deserve.
I know it shouldn't have to be a fight but its worth fighting for.

Everyone on here is really supportive and understanding. I'm glad you found the forum. I hope that it is as supportive for you as it has been for me!
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mouse
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PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 8:37 pm

Sam I'm so so sorry to hear what you've been through. It must have been hard posting when it all still feels so raw, but I hope that by sharing your story it will help you get through this very hard time. I'm glad you're starting counselling soon & hope very much that it helps you.
Those 6 hours with Thomas must have been so precious & the memories will be with you forever. Please talk about those 6 hours if it would help you.
When you feel ready to try again would it be possible for you to go to another hospital/request care from a different team? Even if your postcode says that you have to be with a certain team I would demand to be seen by another one. It will be so important next time round that you have trust & faith in the people looking after you. If you need the reassurance of being seen before 20 weeks (which really isn't much to ask) then they should offer you that. This time round I'm being seen monthly until 28 weeks with growth/doppler scans in-between & then 2 weekly. I'm going to be testing my urine at home too because mine went from 1+ to 4+ over a weekend like you.
Liz is absolutely right about testing for sticky blood (antiphospholipid syndrome) especially with your sad history of miscarriages before you conceived Thomas. Your GP can organise this, or if you request to be referred to another consultant for a second opinion (which is completely within your rights) makes sure it's one recognised by Liz as a specialist in PET & they should offer the testing & counselling afterwards to decide about treatment if necessary.
With so many hugs & love.
Look forward to hearing more from you.
Take care
Mouse xxxxx
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ingrid
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PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Tue 08 Jul 2008, 9:13 am

HI Sam

I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss of your little boy, just reading your story brought tears to my eyes it brings so many memories back of what my daughter went through.

You will get all the support and help you need on this forum and I hope when you read other stories and the Happy outcomes after such tragedies that we will be able to give you some hope and encouragement.

Just look after yourself and get yourself well I wish you all the best and take care

Ingrid xx
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sampet
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Location : milton keynes

PostSubject: Thank You   Tue 08 Jul 2008, 9:57 am

Thanks Ladies for all of your replies.

You've given me alot to think about. Penny, I did think about having the same midwife again in the hope she may look after me better next time; better the devil you know........


At the moment i'm concentrating on loosing some weigh (I put on loads when i got home from the hospital, sitting on your arse eating choc's and watching day time TV gives you brain rot!!!!)I'm doing that by going to boot camp twice a week.

Getting my relationship with my other half back on track. Its taken a beating this year but i think we just need some us time. So we're going on holiday to the Lakes in two days time, for a long weekend Very Happy

Thanks again ladies I will be back

Love
Sam
XXXX
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Liz Pidgley
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PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Tue 08 Jul 2008, 3:05 pm

Hi Sam

Enjoy your break (esp away from boot camp!) and take 'you' time as well as 'us' time.

Men tend to grieve differently from women and you have both been through the mill & then some. Some time together sounds just what you need.

'Talk' to you when you get back.

Best Wishes
Liz

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HelenA
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PostSubject: Re: I'm new and this is my PE story   Thu 10 Jul 2008, 8:32 am

Hi Sam,
Thankyou for sharing your story. You have made me realise how lucky I am to have my daughter sat here next to me.
I hope you have a good break.
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