Pre Eclampsia support
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Pre Eclampsia support

For Women & their families who have suffered with Pre Eclampsia, Eclampsia, HELLP syndrome, Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) and related conditions.
 
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alka
JueG
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JueG
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JueG

Posts : 17
Join date : 2009-02-11
Location : Wiltshire

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PostSubject: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 10 Jun 2009, 12:05 pm

Hi,

We had Arthur at 28.5 wks, due to PE, also the docs think I had a undiagnosed preexisting high blood pressure problem before I was pg with Arthur also to make matters even more complicated I had kidney failure 10 years ago, although I have now been assured my kidneys are fine however they cant tell me how much scar tissue I have been left with.

Anyway, we have made the decision to start trying for another baby next month, so i am getting my bp meds changed, I am excited but also scared, we have been told to prepare for another early arrival, which we have come to terms with.

I am just thinking positive and thinking about how things are different now, I know I have a problem with bp, and I will take asprin once I know I am pg, and I have been taking cal suppls with vit D as my tests showed I was low in this area, I have also promised myself that this time, if I am feelin unwell I wont make myself go into work, unlike when I was pg with Arthur the only time off i had was while i was in hospital and then I was made to feel unthoughtful !

I was just wondering if anyone else is or has felt like this, I know its facing the fear, but any advice on facing this fear would be gratefully received !

Thanks for reading my worries! Laughing

Julie
Proud Mummy to Arthur, Born at 28 + 5 weighing 900grams
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alka
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alka

Posts : 48
Join date : 2008-07-16
Age : 42
Location : Bedfordshire

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 17 Jun 2009, 9:27 am

Hi Julie

We are going through the exact same thing at the moment. I'm finding that I'm constantly battling with the "should we/shouldn't we" about having a second pregnancy. I want a little brother or sister for Jake more than anything, and I keep looking back and remembering how lovely it was feeling Jake wriggle around in my belly, I loved carrying him and desperately want to do that again.

Then I start thinking about the aftermath of the PE, it may sound silly but the biggest thing that lights up in my head, like a neon poster, is when I was in the doctors surgery for a BP checkup a few months after having Jake and he had received a letter from my consultant just outlining what had happened, nothing that I didn't know really, but there was a oneliner in this letter which said "Subsequent pregancies should be treated as High Risk".

Even though this is blooming obvious I know, to read it like that in black and white, it's just stuck with me. And no sooner have I said Yes, lets go for it, a little creeping niggling doubt crawls into my mind "HIGH RISK, HIGH RISK", and it scares the living day lights out of me!

I know my experience is no where near as bad as you or some of the other ladies on this site, but even know, 20 months on, I still think about what happened and what might have been. Not sure if you ever really get over anything like that.

Anyway, I doubt this has been of much use to you, but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone with "the fear" about a second pregnancy.

Lots of Love
Nic x
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Laurie
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Posts : 62
Join date : 2008-05-28

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 17 Jun 2009, 10:52 am

Hello both
I guess I qualify as an old lag here, as my PE baby Joe has just finished his GCSEs and is trying on jackets for his prom. My younger baby Jim is now 9 and a striker in his U10s football team. I nearly lost him in an incident at 22 wks which I will never know whether it was PE-related.

I remember well going to the obstetrician when i first met my husband Pete (not Joe's father) and saying, "OK, is it going to happen again? Coz if it is, you can sterilize me now - I've met the man I'm going to stay with for the rest of my life, and I can't be fussed with birth control if we can't have another baby." (Oh, yes, I also have/had endometriosis, so my fertility was potentially up the swanee!). She looked me square in the eye and said "30-40% are the best odds I can give you. But we will watch you much more carefully this time." I thought, that's good enough for me.

She was right - since our lovely Liz is local to me, I had the benefit of her strong tactics at the hospital: an open-door policy at the labour ward to any mum with PE history. Twice I admitted myself when I had a stonking headache and heartburn. In the end, I hired a private midwife, though, as I just couldn't reconcile myself to the idea of not knowing who my carers were going to be.

No, I didn't enjoy the pregnancy the way I had done with Joe; yes, I was always on the lookout for problems and tested my wee with tedious regularity, peering at the stick for the slightest sign of protein; yes, I got very fed up and bored with having to explain my history to every Tom, Dick or Harry - and those who've been here longer will know of the really quite shocking face-offs I had with a particularly egregious registrar who wanted me to have a section at 38 weeks. And in the end after 42 weeks, I still didn't get the birth that I wanted, still had complications before and after. Even when I thought I could be in control with Jim's birth, I wasn't. I didn't have my perfect labour, I was in agony; the TENS machine was worse than useless after 18 hours; I threw up spectacularly all over my poor midwife when she tried to give me gas and air; my husband gave up soothing me after 24 hours cause he was hallucinating with tiredness; I had to have an epidural after 36 hours; and then I had to have another section or my baby would have died.

But what it taught me is that the birth experience we get is ours, no more or less valid than anyone else's, even if it doesn't conform to the storybook ideal. Our pregnancies had beginnings, middles and ends just like everyone's, and it's important to remember that rather like those cards where you can mix up the heads, torsos and feet of lots of different characters, you get so many different combinations of how a pregnancy can run. No one can ask you to love what happened to you - I still can be brought to tears if I dwell on how I felt seeing my tiny little boy in his little glass bowl with all the tubes and wires. But that was his precious beginning, and I don't hate the people now who I blamed and hated then. I couldn't blame or hate anyone for what happened at Jim's birth, either.

And when the consultant asked me the next morning, "So when are you having the next one, then? What complications haven't you had? Not done diabetes, I see..." I said I wasn't having any more, and he smiled and said, "I think that's wise."

I know I was lucky second time round just to have a baby who didn't have all the health problems Joe had. I am glad that I got through the fear, and I'm so grateful to all those lovely supportive women I had around me in the old APEC days who kept a good humour and positive outlook for me. Rest assured we'll be here for you, to do the same!
xL
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JueG
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JueG

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Location : Wiltshire

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 17 Jun 2009, 12:49 pm

Hi Nic and Laurie,

Thank you both for replying, its like a breath of fresh air reading your replies, as its so difficult to be able to relate to others who haven’t had the whole pre-term birth, complications and NICU experience, exactly how scary just making the decision to have a second pregnancy is, I am lucky my girlfriends say it’ll be ok this time, which is sweet, but the consultants cant even say that, but I am going with the positive thinking !

I am so grateful for this website otherwise I wouldn’t have any contact with anyone who can really understand. I know its all about risk and being brave enough to take it, so it was great to hear from you both.

Nic, I would love you to keep in touch about your journey too, and Laurie it was good to hear from you, as I constantly worry about Arthur, and how he will develop, will he develop when he “suppose too”, so hearing from someone who has been there done that is very reassuring.

So thanks again ! Monday is the day when I see the GP to get my meds changed, plus I want to talk about him the care plan I was told I would receive, if anyone can think of anything else I should ask that would be great.

Lots of love

Julie x
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Laurie
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PostSubject: Pics of my boy   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 17 Jun 2009, 1:27 pm

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JueG
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JueG

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Location : Wiltshire

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 17 Jun 2009, 2:52 pm

Wow !!!!!

Thank you !!! at the moment its a battle getting weight on to Arthur ! he is 2 next month and roughly 22 pounds ! bless him, as we say he is small but cool !! lol !

Any advice on that front gratefully received too !!!

xx
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Lesley
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Lesley

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Location : sheffield

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 17 Jun 2009, 4:29 pm

Hi Julie,

Again, we are in a similar possition to you. Isaac is now 3 and thankfully doing very well so I am starting to think about number 2 before I get too old. I will be 38 at the end of this year and bearing in mind it took 2 years to conceive Isaac I really can't leave it much longer. The thought though terrifies me and I use any excuse to put it off!

I went to see a specialist over a year ago which was a very good experiance, one tha I would recommend to anyone thinking of going for it again. The only thing he didn't do at the time was any blood tests for blood disorders. I accepted this at the time but the further down the line I get the more I want to know. I may have to talk to my gp and get them done before I will feel safe to try again but I think d-day is fast aproaching

Good luck love and we're here to talk.


Lesley xxx
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Liz Pidgley
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Liz Pidgley

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 17 Jun 2009, 8:02 pm

Hi Julie,

Dont worry too much about Arthurs weight!

Aimee is 12 in 2 weeks time & still only weighs about 23Kg.
We tried everything to encourage her to gain weight including Calogen. Mealtimes became a battle of wills as everything tasted so horrid & all I could think of was what a waste of 100 calories!!!

Then I realised Aimee spent so much energy just being an active child that no matter how many calories I crow-barred in, she would still be tiny! She was meeting all her other milestones (in her own fashion) and was otherwise happy & well.
I decided to forget about weight - she was outgrowing her clothes so I wasnt worried.
I gave up all the supplements & did everything in reverse for her. What I grilled for me I fried for her!

Mealtimes became a happy time not the battle ground they had been. Now Aimee tucks into her dinners, has a huge appetite that I struggle to keep up with but is still in clothes for 7/8 yrs old & mealtimes are our favourite times of day.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes
Liz

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Every Woman is entitled to understand what happened in her pregnancy when pre eclampsia strikes. I hope to be able to support that process.
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Laurie
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Posts : 62
Join date : 2008-05-28

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 17 Jun 2009, 11:13 pm

Yes, I would echo that! Enjoy him, and as long as he seems to have enough energy to be active, don't worry. He'll let you know if he needs more. Metabolism is a funny thing. I sometimes wonder whether IUGR babies just are programmed to run on less.

Joe stayed below the 20th centile for height and the 3rd centile for weight for much of his childhood. He met all his milestones eventually, but did not grow at all between the ages of two and four - we think now that might have also been attributable to the medication he was on to control his asthma and eczema. He started secondary school the same size as his little brother is now (just turned nine in Yr 4). But he is now a perfectly respectable 5'7", with a decent manly physique - he started growing when he started secondary school, and basically hasn't stopped since then. Bit of a shock when he grew two shoe sizes in just over a term!!

One day you may rue the day when you complained that Arthur was a dainty eater! Now I have to get two loaves of bread, two packets of biscuits, two boxes of cereal at every shop (that means, every 2/3 days). One for the family, and one for Joe. Same with breakfast sausages - three for him, one each for the rest of us. The amount of bolognese sauce that used to feed the whole family barely touches the sides as it goes down him. And don't ask what happens when he brings his friends over... affraid

Trust your gut instincts about him. If he's happy, he's probably OK!
xx
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JueG
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JueG

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Location : Wiltshire

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyTue 23 Jun 2009, 3:47 pm

Thank you all for your replies, esp advice about Arthur and weight, most of the time I am ok about it, its just now and again ! For example, he had fish and chips last night from the chippie, normally I wouldnt dream about giving him food like that, but hey if he'll eat it ! I am a happy woman !!!

Well, went to the GP's yesterday, I have been packed off with Labetalol, and Aspirin (for when I find out i am pg) so fingers crossed, touching lots of wood ! we will be on our way soon !!!

Considering we started to think about having baby number 2 in sept 07, we havent done that bad to finally make our minds up and defiantly go for it, I think when I was 4 days late a couple of months ago, that made our minds up as we were both secretly hoping I was preganant, I wasnt, but it certainly gave us our answer of what to do.

So, next step..... the obvious, then battle past the receptionists at my gp's to get an appointment with a midwife to get an appointment with my consultant, who wanted to see me at 8 weeks and have a dating scan !! whooooo !!! Think I am getting a bit ahead of myself, just so excited !!!

Once again, thank u all for sharing your experiences and advice with me, its fantastic that I can be in contact with people who have been there or are there !

Thanks !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lots of love

Julie xx

Very Happy
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Nic
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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyWed 24 Jun 2009, 7:54 pm

We're also thinking about number 2 and it really scares me. In fact I spend lots of times thinking about all the positives in pregnancy and get excited, then I remember the reality! I've got so many friends who really enjoy being pregnant and I get jealous that I didn't have that experience. I realise that I had a better experience than alot of people here but it still scares me.

I went to see a Consultant to talk about the next preg. and she was fab. She was so reassuring and said she would give me as much support as I needed. That's what I needed to hear. I've got to have some bloods done to check me for a baseline before I get preg, then it'll be aspirin when I get preg. No prob.

Caitlin is also very small - 0.4 percentile and always has been. When she got passed 1 year I stopped worrying about her weight and just looked at her as a child with a lot of energy and developing well.

Anyway just thought I would write to let you know that you are not alone and we are all having similiar thoughts. Just keep writing them down- it does help!
Nicki
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Liz Pidgley
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Liz Pidgley

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PostSubject: Re: Gonna try !   Gonna try  ! EmptyFri 26 Jun 2009, 9:02 am

Hi Nic

Great to hear you had such a positive appointment with your consulatant!
.... Keep us posted!!!

Best Wishes
Liz

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Every Woman is entitled to understand what happened in her pregnancy when pre eclampsia strikes. I hope to be able to support that process.
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