I want another baby.... help me

Hi Liz,

First of all i cant explain to you how happy i am to find you. You emailed me a few times from another website i think called Apec. I also remember you emailing me to let me know that you are leaving but i lost that mail. I was so upset because you were the only one who made me feel safe and gave me information clearly and simply. Two years down the line, in a deperate bid to find you, i type in your name in Google and hey presto HERE YOU ARE!

Ok...I have had two casarean sections, both due to pre-eclampsia. My first was born 4 weeks premature and my second born 8 weeks premature. With my pre-eclampsia, the doctors had to end both my pregnancies early as i was told my life was in danger. Also in my second pregnancy i had severe problems with my kidneys and the pre-eclampsia itself was very severe, my daughter was in special care but just for a month thankfully, she was strong. The doctors also told me that i shouldnt have anymore babies as the pre-eclampsia gets worse everytime. I had to stay in hospital for nearly a month to be constantly monitored.

I long for having a vaginal birth but im scared. I cant help but think that i am less of a woman/mother for having a c-section but i know i am not. I just want to know how it feels.
It took me time to bond with my children because of the trauma i suffered.

Ive decided that i want to have atleast one more baby and i am ready for another pregnancy NOW but i am horrified that i could put my life and my unborn child in danger again. Im desperate for another baby but i promised myself that i'd do more research and talk to the doctors that looked after me in my previous pregnancies so i know what level of PE i was at. I would love to meet someone who could help me throughout my pregnancy.... Ive got two kids, My son nearly 6yrs old and my daughter 2yrs old, if i do get pregnant again, i cant afford to stay in hospital for bed rest, who will look after my children?

All these questions in my head, going round and round...Dyu know, just finding this website has given me a positive boost, I became very emotional when i found your name and seeing your picture was a bonus!

Doctors have said no more babies but...Do you think its possible for me to have another baby and would it be silly for me to think that i have a chance of a vaginal delivery after 2 traumatic casareans???? Should i put myself and my family through it all again???

I know alot more about PE than my 1st pregnancy but i know theres more to learn especially when im this desperate to have another child.

My next post will be full of questions but for now all of the above need to be answered so i can have some peace of mind,
Sorry if i havent made sense,

Thank you,

Thaiba XxXx

My son (first child) born via Emergency caesarean at 37 weeks (04/11/03) due to PE. Weighed 4lbs 1oz.
My daughter (second child) born at 32+3 weeks via Emergency caesarean (19/07/07) due to SEVERE PE. She was in special care for 1 month. weighed 3lbs 5oz.

Hi Thiaba,

Im glad you found us!

I do remember talking to you.

The short answer to your questions though, is that a referral to a PE specialist would be advisable.

In the years I have been doing this role, I have heard your question many times and once discussed the point with Professor Rm. He told me that in all his years as a professor, he has only ever told one woman not to try again and this was because her organs were already failing & weak. He felt her body wouldnt stand another pregnancy PE or not.

I would suggest getting copies of your notes to go through with the specialist as there may be 'trigger points' that havent previously been acknowledged. Maybe you would need aspirin as well as heparin throughout a pregnancy?

As for a VBAC - its certainly not unheard of after 2 C-section but would depend on on the type of section that you had & how well you healed.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes
Liz

Hi Liz,

I hope your holiday was good and im so sorry that i pestered you with my "essays".

Im so happy you remember me and im at peace with the info you gave me, i had a sense of relief after reading your reply. My next step is to talk to a PE specialist but how do i go about it? And how do i get my notes??

Today i went to my GP. We've recently changed GPs because we moved so we are with the doctors surgery which is closer to us. He didnt have a clue as to what i was talking about..well thats how i felt. I only went to ask him to refer me to a hospital doctor or a consultant - someone who can read through my notes with me because im thinking about having another baby. I explained to him about my previous pregnancies and that i may be at high risk. Do you know what he suggested?

"I will print off some literature for you to read about pre-eclampsia"....

I was like "huh".

I again explained to him that i did my fair share of research on PE after i had my 1st child and then he said (which really hurt me for some reason that i nearly began to cry),

"you have already a boy and a girl, why do you want another baby?"

I asked him about aspirin and he said that aspirin is taken by people who have another type of illness (cant remember the name). To be honest i felt a little angry at the fact that 5 minutes later he decides to look up pre-ecplampsia on the internet on his computer... I finally got him to give me an appointment with a hospital consultant however that also went topsy turvy as he didnt even know how to make the appointment on his computer. I was running late for work so he told me he would do it and call me when he gets the letter/form ready and etc etc (by that time i was rushing because i had to get to work).

Mainly i want to see a doctor or consultant in hospital because they have my notes and i didnt know how else i would get them. I honestly didnt know how to go about it. As long as i get my notes, im happy.

Thanks liz

Thaiba

Hi again Thiaba,

Dont worry about pestering with essays! My feeling is that if you have thought of a question, odds on someone else thought it too! And as I alsways feel, if you know the answers to the questions then the knowledge becomes power - when it comes to PE knowledge is a very useful tool!

You can request a copy of your notes for you to keep (you are entitled to see / have copies of anything written about you under the Freedom of information Act.) You do this by phoning your hospital where your babies were delivered & ask to be put through to medical records. Once through explain what notes you want (ideally between 2 specific dates or you may find you get notes from when you had your tonsils out aged 4!)

They will then send you a form to ascertain you are who you say you are & that you promise to pay them for the service. It’s usually only the copying charge with 'admin time' added on for time/postage etc. (They can also give you a rough estimate of the cost.) About 14 days after they receive your authorisation they will send your notes via recorded delivery which must be signed for by you. They will then invoice you.

I suspect the other condition you were referring to in terms of aspirin, is thrombophilia. This is the medical term for sticky blood.
Research shows that women who have had recurrent miscarriage / PE / HELLP syndrome, tend to have stickier blood than those who dont. Also, generally speaking, the condition is not screened for until any of these events occur & is subsequently asked for.
I would suggest asking your GP to send you for a blood test for a full thrombophilia screen which would include looking for conditions like Lupus, Anti-phoso-lipid syndrome, Hughs syndrome and Factor V Leiden. Again research shows that if you are positive to any of these conditions you are 7-10 times more likely to suffer PE again in another pregnancy.
However, they can all be managed to a certain extent.

Also when you next go to the GP - it might be worth taking along a copy of the PRECOG guidelines - which are the 'gold standard' in best practice care. They are the framework that your GP & Midwife should then adhere to. (In practice, it also shows them that you are a no-nonsense kind of lady that will go get the truth!)

If you let me know what area you are in I can find your nearest expert so that you can seek a qualified opinion at the highest level. The guidelines say that as you would be classed as high risk your care must be consultant lead, so that means you do not have to accept seeing the registrar or house officer ant any appointment, but the boss him/herself!
There is a good reason for this. True eclampsia is actually pretty rare and as such, one needs to have 'been around' a while to have considerable experience of it. It takes the same sort of time to reach a consultancy!

So demanding with your GP to see a consultant was exactly the right thing to do - and in accordance with the guidelines!!!!
It wouldnt be unreasonable to see your local consultant & an expert. At least you would hear considered opinions & be able to make an informed choice about any decision you make.

I hope this helps.
Best Wishes
Liz

Thanks for the advice Liz. Im desperate to see a PE expert because they will know exactly what i will require and need if i get pregnant. I will definatly get my notes by phoning the hospital however i remember you sending me some stuff to read through the post which i still have, i will have a look....

Ok ive just had a look at the pack you sent me in November 2007. The pack includes: Fact sheets about LOW DOSE ASPIRIN FOR HIGH - RISK PREGNANCY, HELLP SYNDROME, ECLAMPSIA (its also got highlighted bits in it which i think you did, really helpful), Information about After Pre-eclampsia- WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?, CONSULT AN EXPERT and there are various leaflets including PRECOG booklet. Are the PRECOG guidelines still the same? Also what about the experts? I live in Luton, bedfordshire. Both me and my husband drive so...

If the experts are still the same and situated in the same adress as what i have from what you gave me in 2007, i think the closest experts to where i live would be:

Dr Catherine NP or Dr Andrew S who are situated in London, Ive done research and it would take me 1 hour and 10 minutes to get there (38.3 miles).

Professor Chris R would be ok for me too even though he is a little far away but i think you mentioned him in one of your replys. It will take me 1 hour 13 minutes [/b[b]](65.7 miles, only a few mins/miles extra).

Professor Michael D S who is situated in Hammersmith, it would take me 1 hour 5 minutes (39.0 miles)


Liz, you will need to help me decide who i should go to see. Theres an expert in Manchester called Phillip B. My parents live in Manchester and i go there when its school holidays. I was born in St Marys Hospital. But i think london/oxford are most closest to me just incase the referal appointment doesnt come on a school holiday.

Oooooh im so excited! Sorry, i had a sudden emotional outburst of happiness and adrenaline rush lol.

Once i find out who is the best expert to see then i will go to my gp so he can refer me. Will it have to be my GP or can i get referred by a hospital doctor? Because ive already asked my GP to refer to me to a hospital/local consultant, i hope that it doesnt take too long because its more important for me to have a consultion with one of the experts mentioned above.

Thank you!

Ive had a chat with my husband and we have decided to go with professor R who is in Oxford providing that he is still at the address i have.

Thanks so much

Thaiba

hi there, just jumping in here but I was in a very similar position to you earlier this year, your posts brought back a lot of memories and feelings and emotions.

I too have two children, I had hollie at 37 weeks and was very very sick wiht pre e, and then I had matthew at just 28 weeks and he was very scik but I made a good quick recovery from pre e.

I saw a very nice consultant earlier this year and was screened for the conditions liz mentioned. It would seem I have Anti-phoso-lipid syndrome, which would explain my pre and HELLP happening twice and more than likely a third time. Despite this we went ahead, there is something in women who desire a child, I couldnt supress those feelings if i trried.

Anyway, I started clexane injections and aspirin for the sticky blood, and mehtyldopa for my bp and continue to take these. I'm now 31 weeks! and feelint g calm, I know it will come, but so far I am past matthew's gestation, that was so important to me, he was really very very sick.

Good luck to you, I'll probably follow your journey, and you mine, ask away if I can be any help what so ever.

Hi Thiaba,

Im glad you feel a bit more positive.

The Guidelines are the same but the expert list you have is now out of date. The aspirin one may also be a little out of date - although fundamentally its still similar.

Unfortunatley for us, Prof R retired earlier this year.
I know Catherine & Andrew and they are both excellent in my opinion. Both are very knowledgeable, both were fundamental in writing the guidelines. They are both also really approachable.
You would need a GP (or hospital) to refer you but if this is proving to be difficult, please do let me know & I will try to help.

My experience has been that GPs prefer to refer within their own PCT mainly due to funding issues and because they feel there is enough exdpertise locally to meet your need. Hospitals generally dont like referring out of PCT for the same reasons.
Our argument is that the experts have all done extended research into the condition and as I said before, many were involved in writing the PRECOG guidelines - if your local consultant can match that - fabulous!

Good luck & best wishes
Liz

Hi Berrylicious,

Im so glad youve "jumped in". Congratulations on your pregnancy and i hope Hollie and Mathew are well. You're 31 weeks, thats excellent.

With my son i started PE at 34 weeks and he was deliverd at 37 weeks. With my daughter i started PE at 30 weeks and she was delivered at 33 weeks.

I read your post before writing mine because i realised that your story was very simillar to mine especially because we already have two children and both pregnancies were with PE. I felt relief when seeing your post and other peoples post because i thought i was the only one for having these feelings- deperate feelings for wanting another child regardless of what happened in the previous pregnancies.

The only people i have only recently told about my "urge" to be a mother again are my Husband, you special people, my doctor and my mum. The only reason why i didnt tell anyone before (as ive had these feelings for the last 8 months) is due to the fact that everyone thinks im mad for wanting another child especially when i get so ill. I get told "you have a boy and a girl which is perfect, why do you want another one?". My husband and my mum know how i feel but only recently have i told them about actually wanting to concieve. After having my daughter (who is now 2 years old) everyone, even the doctors, told me not to have anymore babies...

Which mother in the whole world wants to be told NOT to have anymore babies? It makes you more adamant to have another.

My mum also told me not to have anymore but i understand as she was so worried about me in both pregnancies, she was the only one who genuinely prayed for me and in my last pregnancy came from manchester to luton, stayed in my house to look after my son and my husband while i stayed in hospital for obervation and after my daughter was born. My husband was also very worried and i know he would hide his feelings for my sake UNTIL he saw the saline drip needles in my hands and found out that i will be having my c.section on that very day.

In my 2nd pregnancy i was given aspirin and a blood thinning injections too as well as blood pressure medication. I also got given funky socks to wear lol althought they made my toes go purple for some reason maybe cos they were so tight lol.

Im really excited now after getting Liz's support and advice and now especially talking to you because our experiences are so similar. I cant believe that it was your post in the first place that made me post my post as i felt i wasnt alone and now we are actually talking to eachother thanks to Pre Eclampsia Support.

Thank you so much Berrylicious!

Thaiba

To Liz,

If the PRECOG guidelines are the same than thats excellent as they are what i will use. Ive read the PRECOG guidelines which are written on this site (by you) and its sort of easy for me to understand however the PRECOG booklet ive got is so confusing. Well im sure the doctors will know what it all means, its mainly for them. Can i print out the guidelines from somewhere? Also whats a PRECOG package?

I will go ahead with consultations with Catherine or Andrew depending on what my GP or hospital consultant say. I definately know that my new GP hasnt got much idea on PE and therefore if i dont get enough info from my hospital consultant then i will ask my GP to refer me to either Catherine or Andrew. If he doesnt then im afraid i'll have to bug you again lol. Also on another post someone was asking you what to ask when meeting a consultant and you replied with what questions to ask, ive written those questions down as they are all appropriate to me.

Im feeling positive because i now know what im doing and what my next step is going to be.

Thanks Liz and take care.

Thaiba

Liz Pidgley wrote:

PRECOG (stands for Pre-eclampsia Community Obstetric Guideline) is all about finding out for everyone early in pregnancy if you are more likely to develop pre-eclampsia, and then doing something about it. It was developed at APEC, approved by the official groups who represent midwives, obstetricians, GPs and by the NCT, and 2 years since its launch it is used by at least half of the hospitals in the country. So your midwife or obstetrician will have heard of it and may be following it. If not, ask them why not!!

So what is in the PRECOG guideline and how can it help my care?
First it is a list of things that make you more likely to get pre-eclampsia in your pregnancy. They are things that your GP or midwife will talk about with you the first time that you visit them to say that you are pregnant- the earlier the better. I will go through them all in detail in another post.

Second it is a list of things that the midwife can do straight away after checking if you are more likely to get pre-eclampsia. Some women will be offered a visit to see a specialist straight away. This is to find out how your individual body works and to see if there is any treatment, or special care, that can be started early on. Another group of women are more likely than others to get pre-eclampsia and will be invited to see their midwife more frequently than usual after 20 weeks to pick up the first signs or symptoms. The third group of women have no known reason to get pre-eclampsia, so they do not have to visit their midwife so frequently. But as anyone can get it, they need to know about the symptoms too, where to go and what to do about it.

Finally, PRECOG tells midwives and GPs what signs and symptoms to look out for, at what stage action is needed, and how quickly to act. In the areas of the country where PRECOG is working well, this is the part that midwives and women really like. It means that if you are asked to go to hospital for a check up by your midwife or GP, everyone at the hospital knows why you are there and what to do about it.

The full guideline can be found at http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/content/full/330/7491/576

It is quite wordy, but if you would like me to go through it with you, just let me know!

The full guidelines can be printed out from the link above but will be the same as the booklet you have.
The package means simply that your care plan will be put together in accordance with all best practice guidelines - i.e. from NICE & PRECOG.

Im glad you are feeling more positive & in control Thiaba. Thats really what this forum is about!

Good luck & keep us posted!

Best wishes
Liz

Hey,

Ive got an appointment on the 12th October to see either a consultant OR a doctor at what is called The Lodge in luton. I was a bit upset that it wasnt at the hospital like i asked for but everyone told me that they are professionals at The Lodge too.
The lodge is all about Family planning and advice on Pregancy. The upsetting thing for me is that im not after advice but more help in going through my pregnancy notes and to understand how serious i was in both my pregnancies. I doubt that my notes will be available to them unless its at the hospital. The good news is that i called the medical records department and they will be sending me a form to fill and they explained the procedure (as did you Liz). I hope that my medical notes come before the appointment if they dont then i dont see the real point in me asking for this referral ... Lets wait and see what happens.
I will defo keep you posted.

Thaiba

I've just been through this process of getting a referral to see a PE expert. it took some organising and a lot of perseverance but i got what i wanted in the end.

I think you need to go back to your GP and ask specifically for a referral to consultant x (insert name of the one you want to see) at which ever hospital it is to discuss pre eclampsia in future pregnancies. It took a while for the penny to drop with my GP and it wasn't until i started pulling the PreCOG out of my bag that the message hit home.

I'd phone The Lodge and find out who you're seeing if they'll tell you to double check they've been sent the right referral.

Additionally i went with out my medical notes to the appointment i haven't got them for a variety of personal reasons but anyway we had a productive appointment in my case with out them.

I hope you get what you want and soon. Don't be afraid to question what you're being told but make sure you're armed with the right information - Liz I'm sure will help you with this.

good luck!

Hi Sparkling, its great to hear from you and thank you soooo much for your advice.

With my medical notes I think its just me who wants to see them but i need help in understanding them and thats why i would like a doctor to go through them with me. I remember flicking through nurses notes while i was in hospital with both pregnancys and i didnt have the slightest clue as to what was written about me (plus the handwriting of some of the doctors and nurses looked like squiggles ).

My GP has refferred me to a consultant and im happy (after reading the letter) that he/she IS a Gynaecologist consultant and not just someone who gives advice (as i previously thought). Im actually hoping that they might be able to reffer me to one of the Experts that Liz had reccomended. If they cant refer me then i shall have to go back to my doctor with "ammunition" in the form of a PreCOG booklet .

At first i was quite upset that the referral i got was at The Lodge but ive realised that atleast its a positive start and im quite excited. Now i know what im doing and also apreciate that ive got help and support from all you guys too.....im not alone anymore!

Im so happy that your meeting with the PE expert went well and i too hope that you get what you want and wish you all the best.

I will definatly keep you posted. Thanks sparkling.

Hi Liz,

Short and sweet post

I had my appointment today with a Gynecologist at the Lodge and it was quite positive. I was so overwhelmed with the fact that she knew alot about PE that i actually became very emotional. However i havent recieved my medical notes as yet so i had to go to my appointment without them. Certain questions the Dr asked me i couldnt answer properly as i wasnt sure. Also, silly old me forgot to take my pre-written questions with me so....

She told me that i might not get it in my 3rd pregnancy but then again who knows what the future will hold.

She advised me to take Folic acid while trying for a baby and then once i do find out that im pregnant i need to take aspirin until 32ish weeks of pregnancy.

I asked about VBAC but she said that its not possible anywhere here in the uk as doctors dont want to risk it...i was a bit dissappointed. I really really wanted a vaginal birth.... Is it because my wound hasnt heeled properly or......?

I took the PRECOG guidelines with me but she knew everything about it anyway.

On the whole i think this appointment was great for me and i feel much more positive. I couldve asked more questions but i think the main queries have been cleared.

Hey Liz, Its me again....

After my consultaion with the Doctor at the lodge i felt satisfied in myself with the fact that she told me i CAN have another baby. I was happy for a while and thought about waiting until maybe next year or the year after to try for another baby however im feeling so down again...I have a few questions, i hope you dont mind answering them.

Will i have kidney problems when im older? Kidney failure??

If i was to get pregnant again...what are the risks and the reasons that i may not make it...as in death? I remember in my 1st pregnancy during my c-section i was fine but on my 2nd at one point i felt as though my head was going to explode and i felt like i needed to vomit, i could feel the vomit coming up my throat and i constantly had to swallow it down...it was horrible and i honestly thought that i ws going to die at that point. I remember the person who was standing by my head at the op (i dont know who it was, anaesthetist i think) he kept saying to me "i know how you're feeling but we must get the baby out until we give you..." i dont know what he was going to give me but it was obviously something to make stable again. I need to know why i felt like that because honest to god my head felt so painful and seriously felt it was about to EXPLODE.

The consultant told me to have folic acid while trying. I know this is a silly question and could always research it on the net BUT what does folic acid do??? Will folic acid help me in my pregnancy and help PE? Maybe in my previous pregs i didnt take it properly as im really bad at taking tablets. Im also very anaemic.

Do you think if i asked the my GP to refer me to the consultant again he would decline??? There were alot of questions that i forgot to ask last time so i would like the chance again. Ive got ALL my previous preg notes. There are so many pages!!!

Im feeling a little down because 2 of my good friends are pregnant and i feel very....i dont know what im feeling...maybe jealous that they are having a problem free pregnancy. Dont get me wrong im happy for them but im laughing on the outside but inside im crying my eyes out. I had a dream that i was pregnat again, i seemed so happy and then i dreamt a c-section was being performed on me and out came a baby girl. I slo remeber telling the doctor who was doing the c-section "please could you tidy me up a bit...remove a bit of the over-hang" and the doctor did it and i looked great! But obviously i had to wake up and realise that its all a dream but it was such a nice dream to have.

Ive looked into Homeopathy because im sure that im going through mild depression again...i dont know. Im trying a homeopathy remedy called Staphisagria 200c which was suggested for me by a homeopathy practicioner. I only started yesterday and its for one month only so i thought why not try it.

Thanks for reading this and i hope you can help me by answering some of my questions,

Thaiba

Hi Thiaba,

Im sorry I seemed to have missed your post. Huge apologies & thanks for the nudge!

Im not sure how the kidney problem came about Thaiba, were there kidney problems during your pregnancies or before hand? In the longer term women who have had PE are more likely to suffer with high blood pressure. The long term effects of this could create a kidney problem but neither is a definate outcome.

I can understand how awful the feelings were during baby's delivery, its very familiar to me too.
As always with PE, knowledge is the power & defence against it. The very fact that you experienced these horrid feelings is the knowledge to know that it isnt right. That knowldege will give you the strength to say out loud - and loud enough to be heard by your doctors IF the PE starts to raise its ugly head again. Because you will know & shout should mean that your doctors will intervene if necessary before things get out of control again.
The lack of control is often what makes this condition so scary & what gives it, its power.

The chances of you dying are real. I cannot say that it wont happen BUT I can say that it would be very very unlikely.
According to the confidential enquiry of 1997-1999 into maternal death, there were 378 women that died in this time. Out of these only 16 were due to PE/HELLP and all were attributed to substandard care (which is going back to the
knowledge =power bit) There is also a huge drop from year to year. In 88/90 there were 27 deaths, 91/93 there were 20, 93/96 there were 20, then came the introduction of the PRECOG guidelines, 97/99 there were 16 and the last report 2000/2002 there were 14.
When this is balanced out along with the total number of pregnancies that occured in that time you can see the risk is minimal. You can also see that the PRECOG guidelines really have saved lives.

Folic acid.
This helps to improve the developing babys nervous system to help prevent conditions like spina bifida. It doesnt really have an impact on PE.

I think if you explained to your GP or even wrote to the consultant you saw explaining you forgot to ask questions they would be able to arrange another appointment. What ladies have done in the past is write to the consultant & included the questions in the letter then after the meeting asked the consultant to write to them & their GP with an outline of their conversation with you & any plans made. I still use this as a technique when Im working with a family in my 'other life'! I know when someone is anxious they will either forget to ask what they wanted to or completely forget what Ive said. Writing a summary helps them / their GP & me all sing from the same song sheet so to speak!

I do think its wise to talk this through with your GP again though, especially if you are feeling emotionally fragile. Your mental health needs to be looked after as much as your physical health. Tell him you are taking herbal remedies though as it may contra-indicate with anything he might want to prescribe for you. The fact that you are recognising the hurdles that are facing you, even though they may still happen is such a huge step forward Thaiba. It means you are more able to deal with them proactively & they are less likely to pull you down.
Your friends have the wonderful innocence of life with out PE, and while you are happy for them it still doesnt change the 'why me' stick that us mums who have experienced it still beat ourselves with.

I hope this helps Thaiba.

Best Wishes
Liz

Ive just found out my husbands younger sister is pregnant with her 1st child! I cant help but feel....i feel like crying. Dont get me wrong because im very very happy but...my pregnancys havent been "happy" ones...im craving for another child but i just sit there and delve into the fact that what if it doesnt work out...i cant leave my kids! Sorry to have to blurt all this negative emotion out but i need a written Hug if that makes sense.

Hi Liz,

Hope you're well. In my earier posts i told you about wanting to visit a PE specialist but was unsure wether i actually wanted what i thought i wanted but i now knoe that i do want it (am i making sense). Ive decided to try for a baby next year (cant this year because i start my new job on Monday and it a 1 1/2 year contract).
I want to visit a specialist by referral however do you think i should see an expert now or wait until next year when im ready to get pregnant again?

I would be very grateful if you could give me an adress for Catherine and Andrew who are situated in London. Im going to make an appointment on monday to see my GP to reffer me to the PE specialist. I have all my pregnancy notes with me this time so i can have a more in-depth discussion on the positives and the negatives. Only thing is, i hope they can read the notes because wow their writing is bad lol.

I told my husband recently that i want a baby next year and to be honest i dont think he really wants to but replied saying "im happy if you're happy and if u have made a decison then thats fine". I know he will worry and cry like the last two times BUT in my 2nd pregnancy i didnt think i would get it but i did so if i were to get preg again im just going to ALWAYS expect it to pop its head all the time only this time i will know exactly what to expect and what to do. Hopefully i will be even more closely monitored.

I really would love a VBAC after two c-sections but thats just pushing my luck... is it?

This website has to be THE BEST support ever especially for women who have been through it more than once. Im feeling positive beause with the right care im sure i and the unborn baby will be fine.

Thank you!

Hi Thiaba,

Sorry I seem to have missed this post from you.

I will PM you Catherine & Andrews details. I am working with Andrew soon on another project so could give him a 'heads up' if you like?!


I would suggest seeing either expert prior to conception. I suspect that given your close proximity to them they could even suggest over seeing the entirity of your care. They would also give you the best opinion then of a VBAC option.
Dont worry about the handwriting in your notes, strangely it seems to make sense to another Doctor!!!!

I am glad you are finding this community helpful but its always nice to get such lovely feedback so Thank you.

Best Wishes
Liz

Hey Liz,

Thank you for getting back to me and i hope everything is working out on your side too. Yes i would love it if you gave Andrew a "heads up".
Did you PM me the address? Gosh if they were to oversee my whole pregnancy it would be FANTASTIC and i will be at ease knwing im being lookedafter by people who know what they are doing!
When you say Prior, does that mean a few months before i decide to concieve OR within the next few months from now (again im not making sense, sorry ) Im really excited... i hope everything goes ok for me!

At one point i decided not to try for a 3rd because no one is being supportive... They keep telling me what if die who will look after the two i have etc etc. Its sad knwing that when i am pregnant everyone will be waiting for something to happen so they can say i told you so.... Howveer i had a chat with my hubby and he said not to rule it out and to decide after we see the specialist.

I was telling my hubby yesterday that i know too much about PE that its scaring me. In my 2nd pregnancy they told me i wont get it and thats why i was ok thinkng that i wont get it so i was more relaxed. If i were to get preg 3rd time i will defo be expecting PE- it may be a good thing so im prepared or it may be bad thing with me constantly thinking about it.

I look at my children and feel guilty...im being selfish in a way...i have two miracles already and now i want to risk it for a 3rd...?

To tell you the truth ive kinda got use to and accepted that i will have my 3rd so now if i decide not to i feel like ive let my 3rd child down whos waiting for me to carry it to come into the world...i sound mad i know but all i can say is that ive learnt too much about PE and its scares me.

My last two pregs i didnt have aspirin but this one i will...it might make a difference to hold back the PE. I may not even get it BUT then theres a chance i might get Post partum PE.... PP PE is what im scared of right now...really scared that i may not recover!

In my 1st preg it was sudden onset PE- i didnt even know what it was. I actually missed an antenatal appointment because i was in manchester at my parents house for 2 weeks. I know for a fact that my PE started earlier but was diagnosed at 35 weeks. The reason i know is because i had the pain under my ribs for ages... i thought it was the babys legs or something. i was also very swollen from 31/32 weeks. My mum saw my feet and hands (at my parents house)...she always got me a big bowl of luke warm water to dip my feet into because she thought it was the heat causing my feet to swell. Im an idiot to miss my antenatal app but glad that i went 2 weeks later to see my midwife and thats when i got diagnosed with High BP and +1 protein in urine.

2nd preg i diagnosed myself and called my comm midwife to refer me to Day assesment unit at 30 weeks. So maybe my PE came about at the same time for both my pregs......

Anyone know anyone who has had successful 3rd pregnancy with PE in all 3? Anyone know any UNSUCESSFUL stories with 3rd pregs? I need to know everything... i really dont know how im going to decide this....

1st and 2nd preg...all i can say....IGNORANCE WAS BLISS

Hi Thiaba,

I have PMd you but saw you had posted here too. I wont repeat myself though!

It is awful when you think people are waiting to say I told you so. Those who have never had a difficult pregnancy can be so thoughtless at times.

Your need / want for another child is totally your right...and maybe, just maybe you were let down in your 1st pregnancy & almost certainly your 2nd because the right care was not offered.
Either way the PE was not your fault and neither was its severity. (And I cannot emphasise that strongly enough!)

I know of many women who have had successful 3rd pregnancies as I know of some sad stories too.
Im curious though, is there a reason why you are worried about post partum PE?
As for knowing too much, I suspect in your heart you know thats not true - it is your defence against the condition...without your knowledge would you have called the community MW in your 2nd pregnancy???

Best Wishes
Liz

Ofcourse knowledge is THE defence to this horrid condition and yes i agree that without it i would not have bee able to call my Comm midwife.
Ive been wacthing alot american programmes recently on the home and health channel about pregnancies and births but the ones im mostly interested in are the people who get diagnosed with PE and how they go about dealing with it. Alot of them just deliver the day they get daignosed... I feel sad watching them BUT feel glad that im not the only one (well ive found that out on this forum too ) They talk about Post partum PE alot and how their Bp still stays raised after the birth, seizures and fits...

What im battling with is the fact that i have two beautiful kids already, why would i want to risk everything for a 3rd? What if my children dont have a mum at the end of it all?

Liz, im going to call you on monday around 11ish... expect alot of crying...i will try to hold it back but...its just the way im feeling right now. Everyone has made sure that i forget thinking about the postives and instead think and feel negative. Im sure you noticed that in my post above...I was very emotional when writing that one...

I have stumbled across your site via the Bliss forum - although I've only recently delievered my second child I cannot help but crave more children yet due to the vile condition pre eclampsia affecting both of my pregnancies it seems the common theme from everyone is "don't have anymore children". Yet I just cannot bare the thought of never carrying another baby and I live in hope that I will experience a full pregnancy. It has been so refreshing to read someone else having similar feelings to myself - maybe when my daughter is out of NICU I may be able to think more rationaly but then maybe the desire to have more children will never fade.

Both my pregnancies ended in me developing severe PE, my first child was delieverd by emergency c section at 35 weeks and my second delievered at 27 weeks and 1 day - again emergency c section. Like you I have been told that if I were to have another I would probably get in again and sooner so the concensus of opinion is don't have anymore - but it's just not that simple.