Has your hubby said why he is not keen for another baby?
As you suggest he just may be really afraid. His thoughts could well be similar to many of the ladies here in terms of do I dont I?
We question ourselves in terms of the what ifs...what if PE strikes again....I have a child already here, a child who may not survive...and what if I dont survive?....I could potentially leave my husband with 2 small children....but the tick tock of the clock wont stop chiming.
Its not too different for many men...except they dont seem to have the need that women have to be pregnant & the want to care for another little person.
He may even have flash backs of your past pregnancy that he hasnt shared with you.
Men tend to keep things so much closer to their chests & get on with the practicalities of life, they really dont like feeling so out of control & unable to protect their loved ones...women talk it through, men dont.
I agree with Mossy a pre-conception meeting with your doctors may help him to understand what happened to you last time & what he can do to help ensure that things go more smoothly in a subsequent pregnancy. Have you considered some joint counselling about your last pregnacy? There may be things that are locked so deeply away that you are not aware of?
Equally, if his decision is final, some counselling may help you to come to terms with this loss.
It is not an easy decision but you do still have some time on your side. The risk does increase when you are 40 but also increases when there is 10 years or more between children.
There is the school of thought that you are more 'protected' if your children are within 5 years of each other but this really is a 'school of thought' and not a guarantee.
I hope this helps Riina
Every Woman is entitled to understand what happened in her pregnancy when pre eclampsia strikes. I hope to be able to support that process.