Welcome to the site - Im glad you found us.
The feelings you describe in your story, I am sure will be very familiar to many ladies here, they certainly are to me.
You dont say how long ago you had your daughter or even whether you are thinking about another child, but what I would say is this. You have as you say, been through the most frightening experience and so has your husband. These scars will take a long time to heal but you are making the first moves forward in seeking the answers to your questions.
If I am truthful, I think the statistic of 50/50 of recurrance is incorrect. It sounds like you were given a glib answer from someone who perhaps really is not that sure.
You might find more answers come from getting a copy of your maternity notes as this will document everything that happened to you. It will give you a time line so that you can 'fill in' some of the gaps. I would then suggest asking for an expert opinion. I can give you some names of specialists if you'd like?
What we often find is there are underlying conditions that can be managed but may not show until a woman is pregnant - and nor would they be routinely looked for. If this were true for you, then there is no reason why another pregnancy shouldnt be a positive experience for you.
I am certain many women here will tell you no two pregnancies are alike - even post pre eclampsia and HELLP syndrome.
Im happy to talk all this through with you on the phone if you would like?
For now though, congratulations on the safe arrival of your daughter & I hope that we can offer you the support and information you are looking for.
Every Woman is entitled to understand what happened in her pregnancy when pre eclampsia strikes. I hope to be able to support that process.