Pre Eclampsia support

For Women & their families who have suffered with Pre Eclampsia, Eclampsia, HELLP syndrome, Pregnancy induced hypertension (PIH) and related conditions.
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 Time to write it all down!

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Posts : 71
Join date : 2008-05-30
Age : 43
Location : Near York

PostSubject: Time to write it all down!   Sat 05 Jul 2008, 6:33 pm

I have done this a bit backwards in that Iíve already posted in new arrivals but would like to share my story now. I apologise in advance if this turns into a bit of a novel but this is the first time in a long time that Iíve written all this down.

In summer 2002 I had been single for a while. My dad had died suddenly a few months earlier and I wasnít looking to meet anybody. As is usually the case, with these things happening when you least expect them, I met Steve. 8 months later we moved in together and in May 2006 we got married.

During that summer we discussed having a family but decided we would try and let nature take its course. We were therefore delighted in the November to find out I was pregnant the first time of Ďproperlyí trying. At our 20 week scan we were over the moon to find out we were expecting a little boy.

On the 6th May 2007 at 28 weeks pregnant our world turned upside down. I had been to the doctors a few days earlier with what I thought was indigestion. The pain got steadily worse until the weekend when we phoned our maternity unit to ask if I could get checked out. Despite being in agony I still didnít believe that anything could be seriously wrong and naively thought Iíd be given some medicine and be back home in time for my Sunday lunch! I will skip some of the details but when we got to hospital my blood pressure was so high the midwife taking it thought the machine was broken, even so I still didnít realise how serious the situation was for my health, even when the consultant started talking about delivery.

I was given an emergency c-section under general anaesthetic and on waking was given the news by my husband that our little boy hadnít made it. Max had lived an hour and a half and had passed away before I came round. Seeing how surprised the doctors were that he hadnít made it was heartbreaking. Out of the two of us they were more worried that theyíd lose me (something that Steve only told me months after). At 28 weeks gestation theyíd expected him to survive and a post mortem revealed no underlying problems Ė itís still hard to accept that we were just one of the unlucky ones. After spending 5 days in HDU I was allowed home.

Despite all this we were desperate to try again as soon as possible. We knew that no-one could ever replace Max but weíd been given a glimpse of what life might be like with a family and were desperate for more. We were told by our consultant to wait at least 3 months before trying again which seemed like an eternity but were lucky enough to fall pregnant at the second attempt. The care I received this time round was completely different and on the 20th of May Maxís little sister Tilly Hope was born at 37 weeks exactly after I started to show very mild signs of PE again.

Looking back Iím not quite sure how I got through this pregnancy. Every day I woke up wondering if that would be the day when things started to go wrong again, if Iíd have a baby at the end of it, or even if Iíd still be here. I know I couldnít have done it without the support of my wonderful midwife and consultant and the people on this site (esp my lovely befriender Donna!!). Perversely, the fact that I got through this pregnancy (almost) PE free just makes me feel even more guilty about Max Ė that in a way he was the Ďtrial runí - but reading a few of the other posts it seems Iím not alone in that. Not a day goes by when I donít wish both my children were here (in a way having Tilly just serves to confirm what we have lost whereas before we could only imagine) but we know how blessed we are to have Tilly so soon after losing Max and truly believe that he sent her to us.

I donít blame you if youíve given up on this halfway through but Iíve found writing it down very therapeutic. A year ago I read the stories on the website and never believed that things could be different for me second time around, but as my beautiful daughter lies here next to me Iím so glad I dared to believe that they just might be!
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Join date : 2008-05-31
Location : West London

PostSubject: Re: Time to write it all down!   Sun 06 Jul 2008, 8:27 pm

Caroline I'm so so sorry to hear what a heartbreaking time you had when you lost Max, but so many congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter Tilly. Thanks for being brave enough to post your story - it gives me & everyone else hope for the future.
Lots of love
Mouse xxx
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Liz Pidgley

Posts : 702
Join date : 2008-04-23

PostSubject: Re: Time to write it all down!   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 9:19 am

Hi Caroline,

Thank you for taking the time to write yours, Steve, Max & Tillys story.
Writing how you feel & what happened can be hard going but so theraputic and an under-used tool.

And thank you too for your lovely comments about Donna. I will make sure she sees your post.

Warm wishes

Every Woman is entitled to understand what happened in her pregnancy when pre eclampsia strikes. I hope to be able to support that process.
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Posts : 51
Join date : 2008-05-26
Age : 39
Location : Northamptonshire

PostSubject: Re: Time to write it all down!   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 10:45 am

Hi Caroline.

What a heartbreaking story and then with such a happy ending.
I really am delighted for you that you managed to get through your 2nd pregnancy and that Tilly is so perfect.
I can empathise with some of your feelings but obviously not to the extent.
I have so much admiration for you for what you had come through and really pleased you flet you could share your story with us.
Love to you, Steve, Tilly and never forgetting your special angel Max. xxxxxxx
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Join date : 2008-06-02
Age : 35
Location : Bedfordshire, UK

PostSubject: Re: Time to write it all down!   Mon 07 Jul 2008, 8:04 pm

Hey honey

Well done for writing it all down - no its wasn't an essay!! Wink

I know exactly how you feel, when i wrote my story and then another post on guilt i found that having written them it felt like alittle weight had been lifted, if that makes sense! lol!

I'm so glad that Tilly is here for you. If you believe in angels, which i do, then her big brother will always be with her!

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Join date : 2008-04-24
Location : Hornchurch, Essex

PostSubject: Re: Time to write it all down!   Wed 09 Jul 2008, 6:39 pm


It was lovely to read your story and I am sure that you have given hope to everyone who has read it. Thank you for your comments but really it was a great priviledge to support you. Your strength amazed me at times. I wish you, Steve and Tilly a wonderful and happy life and if you are considering another you know where we are Laughing
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