Hi Everyone,
Finally time to post my experience! I have pasted a lot of my story from the other sight but included updates. Here goes .....
October 2005 our world turned upside down. We had gone for a routine midwife appointment to find that my blood pressure was significantly raised. My midwife immediately phoned the hospital who wanted to see me straight away. We went, thinking it would be a quick check up and then home again. We were going to buy the cot that afternoon. How wrong was I! They let me home briefly (on the condition I was back within the hour) to collect some things. At this point I was 24 weeks pregnant and terrified.
Over the next week we had numerous scans, tests and visits from too many doctors to remember them all by name and finally a visit around the Special Care Unit (which ironically gave me some hope). Early and severe Pre-Eclampsia and HELLP syndrome was diagnosed.
My consultant had advised me that if my baby were to survive, due to the size, he would probably have some form of disability. We didn't worry, we would love him just as much.
I was scheduled for a scan on the Monday (24th Oct). Over the weekend the midwives came in a few times to ask if I wanted them to check for the heartbeat. I just couldn't bear to let them. I hadn't felt any movement for a while and deep down I knew we had lost our much wanted and precious little angel.
I will never forget the consultants words in the scanning room on the Monday.... "I'm so sorry, he's gone". I couldn't believe or accept it. Over and over I asked if she were sure and wasn't there anything they could do. I wanted to die, right there and then.
The next few days passed in a blur. My platelet levels plummeted and they wanted to transfuse. Stupidly I refused, I just couldn't take anymore! I was induced late afternoon on 24 Oct 05 and our darling Joshua was born on the 25th October 05 at 05:49am weighing just 1lb 3oz. He looked perfect and I willed him to cry, to show some sign of life to prove they had gotten it wrong. But he was so still and so silent. The midwife dressed him and handed him to us, I'm so thankful for the next two days that we got to spend with him.
Very reluctantly we agreed to a PM, severe PET was the result. He had suffered IUGR due to my placenta having not worked properly for so long.
In the November we laid him to rest. Words cannot explain how lost and empty I feel. I often wish I had been taken and he had survived. We miss him so very much.
In March 2006 we suffered our second loss when my pregnancy was found to be ectopic. I sometimes find it so very difficult to feel positive about the future, but I carry on, determined to keep my darling Joshua's memory alive. It is all I can do for him now.
Sleep tight my precious Angel. Mummy and Daddy love and miss you so very much xxxxxx
Sorry it's so long, and thankyou for reading our story if you have gotten this far.
Love
Hayley xx
**Update**
In April 2007 I gave birth to a wonderfully healthy baby boy. I was moniotored very carefully throughout and, even though I expected it, there was no sigh of PE whatsoever!
I am currently pregnant again, 19 weeks now. Again I am being monitored as "high risk". I am aware that PE can skip pregnancies so won't relax until this little one is here with us.
Joshua is always on my mind and I will admit that somedays are so very hard. No matter how many children we have, nothing can ever replace my first precious little boy.
Love
Hayley xx
Home 
and I hope all goes PE free with this one and I will keep my fingers crossed for you. 