Hi Berrylicious,
Its definatley not selfish to want another baby. Had you had no problems with your pregnancies, would the question have ever been asked?
Our longing for another child - and hopefully getting the 'package' we have always dreamed of is incredibly powerful. As I have said before (and many ladies here will testify to this!) from little girls we are told that when we get pregnant, we get fat, huff & puff a bit- and there is this beautiful child. We may have to complain about varicose veins, bad back & piles - but it is part of the 'dream' we are sold. PE robs us of the innocence of that dream and for many, who want another child, part of the justice is to get back the dream we were previously 'sold'.
I am sorry you didnt get a supportive consultant and were made to feel foolish. That should never happen. Your feelings and views are valid whatever they are, because thats how you feel - it should never be negated. If you like I can give you some names of experts who are leaders in the field of PE & HELLP, many of whom I know personally, and wouldnt make you feel foolish at all.
Because of your history, you are at higher risk of getting PE & HELLP again, but your chances can be optimised with the right care from before you get pregnant.
If you would like to talk this through you can call me on 0845 241 0989. Im around every weekday from Monday - Friday . If thats not convenient, PM me through this site & I will do my best to help.
Warm wishes
Liz