Baby #2 - advice?

Hi everyone, sorry this is a long first post, but I have a few questions….

I had HELLP at the end of my first pregnancy – sudden onset, emergency c-section same night and then intensive care for me for 48 hours and 10 days in SCBU for my wee boy. He’s a year now and small but healthy, and I know from reading many of your stories how very lucky we are.

We’re keen to go for baby number 2 now, but I am, frankly, terrified. (Actually, I think we both are.) I know lots of you have posted on this before, so forgive me for asking you to repeat things, but I could really do with some advice.

I am the kind of person who feels better about an issue if I have an action plan – and I see lots of you recommend a pre-conception consult to get a treatment plan. Has anyone had experience of this in Scotland? I have never heard of anyone having one here.

Also, I suspect that my GP’s first piece of advice will be to tell me that I need to plan to take at least 3 months off work before the baby is due. (I have a job with a fairly high stress level.) My worry on that front is that, if I have to take this as mat leave, then we will only be able to afford about 5 months further mat leave after the baby is born – I would much rather have 8 months after! Is there any way I can be signed off sick instead of having to take mat leave before the birth?

And aside from all the practical stuff, obviously I am frightened about having HELLP/PE again and not being so lucky next time. Though I have to say it heartens me to read how many of you have gone on to have normal, healthy pregnancies after experiencing the same condition.

I’m grateful for all and any advice – I don’t know anyone else who has experienced HELLP –thank you.

Hello!
Welcome to the forum! Before my husband and I tried again after having our daughter we saw a consultant at the hospital to discuss my pregnancy and what happened. We also set out a plan for my second pregnancy, which meant I took aspirin and had fortnightly doppler and growth scans. These then became weekly scans as my bp rose after 30 weeks. I'm sure Liz will be more help with regards to consultants in your area who you could see. I was signed off sick from 25 weeks in my second pregnancy, mostly due to anxiety but also because I was having a few bp spikes at that point also. I'm sure your GP would consider doing this, mine was very understanding. My second pregnancy went brilliantly, despite my bp and protein at the end (and high anxiety levels!!), I got to 39 weeks and we were both well. Good luck!!

Hi,

Like Lizzie, I saw a Consultant before I got pregnant again and he set out a plan of care which included weekly monitoring, fortnightly scans and a Doppler scan at 23 weeks. He didn't keep the plan too strict as he said we'd have a 'take things as they come' approach. I had total faith in him though and the care I had was fantastic- this I think is soo important- someone who'll listen and care for the whole you.

As for work, I too have a stressful job and I asked about finishing work early. My Doctor, and indeed many studies, don't see any connection between pre-e and stress. However, I did go on the sick from 20 weeks, so no eating into my Maternity Leave. However, I'm not convinced being off had anything to do with not getting pre e this time, but I wanted to be off for my peace of mind. I'm happy to say that this time I had a pre e free pregnancy and delivered my little boy at 38 weeks!

Hope this had helped a bit. Good luck in whatever you do!
Emma xx

Hi,

Thanks for the reassurance - it definitely seems like the way forward to see a consultant before trying again as it would put my mind at ease a bit and make me feel like I was doing as much as I could to protect myself.
And I've done a bit more homework on the work front and discovered that I can go sick without having to be on mat leave until the last 4 weeks of pregnancy, which is a huge relief. I think I'll just wait and see how I feel and what the doctor says before deciding whether to get signed off, though like you Emmie, I suspect I may take time off just to put my mind at ease - and to prevent my partner from getting worried too.
I'm just finding it all a bit stressful and worrying - so many of my friends who were pregnant at the same time as me are merrily forging ahead with the next baby, and while I don't begrudge them for a second, it's very hard to be as excited and confident as they are. I always imagined that by the time I got to thinking about baby number 2, I'd have forgotten all about the horrific start we had with Jamie and it wouldn't bother me at all. Instead, I can't get it out of my head and I feel like I've got a massive black cloud hanging over me, and that maybe even the idea of becoming pregnant is really stupid and I should just be content with what I have. But I also really want another baby - not just for me, but for all of us.
I can't tell you how much I appreciate this forum, as I just don't really have anyone else to speak to about this, and it's a bit hard to explain to people who haven't been there. I know labour and childbirth are difficult for everyone, but this was such a shock and the thought that I might have it again, and that there's no way of telling if it will appear or not, makes the whole thing a bit of a scary gamble.
Thanks, and congratulations to you both on your babies. x