firstly i want to apologise for being rubbish at updates
So I am exactly 27 weeks today, only 12 days left til amys delivery date!!
I have been seen twice a week since my 24 week scan. I saw a registrar at 25 weeks, who after seeing my BPP decided to up my labetalol to 200mg twice a day, even after this my BP's havent been brill. For some reason the bottom number wont behave itself and its beginning to really get me down. I am seeing the cons again next week and i am going to ask if i can have a BP kit at home and do a 24hr profile of my own, I swear i have white coat syndrome, but they all keep ignoring me when i say it. None of the medical staff seem to realise how the hospital freaks me out, how i am terrified that they are just going to give me bad news. I have this fear at the moment about it all, how completely aware i am this time. with amy it was all so rushed and I was on so many drugs i was completely out of it and went with the flow, now i know what can/could happen I am really really terrified. I literally want to curl up in a ball til its all over
I have been completely protein free since the trace the other day, which has eased my mind slightly as it means the swelling in my legs/ankles is just what any other pregnant woman is experiencing in this heat, or so thats what the midwives keep telling me!
I just feel really down at the min, i'm having nightmares all the time which are waking me up in the middle of night. I am absolutely dreading the scan next week. I have the steroids thurs/fri this week and just keep thinking they will say they are delivering him because of the scan results! The stupid thing about that was the cons said he wasnt growing great, but then the registrar and midwives have said he was growing well
I just feel in a no win situation.
I am very grateful that they are taking such good care of me, and i know that if i have ANY worries about mine/baby boys health i can ring them without a thought, but i am really struggling with the mental side of things. I am usually a VERY positive person who has a positive outlook on every situation and i just feel so damn low and depressed
I'm sorry for such a long and miserable post, but this is the only place i feel people may understand how i'm feeling. My husband is being fab, and obviously he understands, but he is trying to stay positive and I dont want to drag him down with me.
Will try and keep you updated as much as possible